Open and Honest
Hey ya'll!
I'm gonna be really honest with everyone in this email, because it deserves to be discussed, and we can learn lots of things from our trials.
This has probably been the hardest week of my mission so far. It's not a secret that I struggle with anxiety and depression. It's a thing I go through, and it's not new. But, that doesn't make it easy!
I've been really struggling with my mental health recently, and it's been a very hard thing to deal with as a missionary. It's an everyday thing, and it's pretty exhausting.
BUT.
God is never far. I've definitely seen that this week. So, instead of dwelling on what's wrong, I want to tell you all the miracles I saw this week.
Miracle #1: When I'm having a hard day, usually my appetite for solid foods goes away. So, this particular day was one of those days. I was starving, but my body didn't want food. So, as I was driving, I said a prayer. I asked Heavenly Father that, if he could, I would do anything for a meal replacement or protein shake to help curb my hunger. We then went to the appointment, which we weren't planning on going to, and the first thing she handed me was a protein shake. I said a silent prayer of thanks, and drank it all, as it helped me get the "food" I needed at that time. I am thankful for the answers that God gives to the silent prayers that we say.
Miracle #2: I am surrounded by the best people. It seems that every time I was really struggling, someone would text me. Whether it was another missionary, a family member, etc., God knew that I needed words of love at those moments. I am so thankful for the friends around me who care for me and try to lift me up every day.
Miracle #3: Church was a hard day. I was in the middle of translating sacrament meeting and needed a mental break. Elder Pitcher took over and I took time to really listen to the talks and not worry about how to say it in another language. After the speaker, who spoke for less time than planned, our Branch President, President Pierre, got up to speak. He had a quick 10 seconds to decide what to speak on. And, like a gift from God, he spoke about the Atonement. He reminded us that we can always turn to Christ. But, the line that I KNOW was meant for me was this: "Christ knows you. He has FELT anxiety, He has FELT depression. He is the perfect person to turn to because he KNOWS how it feels.". This line stuck with me. I started crying, and thanking Heavenly Father for helping him to say the words I really needed to hear. I am thankful for those who listen to the Spirit and know how to listen to revelation they receive.
Miracle #4: I got to spend a lot of time at the temple this week. We did a service project, helping with the landscape, and we were also able to bring some friends of ours to the grounds to have a lesson. These friends said that they felt like they belonged there. They felt God's love, and it reminded me of the love God has for me. I am so grateful for the temple and the Spirit that I can feel there, especially because it's in my neighborhood. It's close, and it is a safe haven from the rest of the world.
There are so many things that I could mention that were miracles this week. But I'll end with this.
I know that God knows you. I know that He gives us trials and struggles so he can BLESS us. They are *straight up* blessings from God. I can tell you without a doubt, that trials and struggles make you the person God wants you to become. Just as Christ asked the Father if He had abandoned him while on the cross, we may feel like God isn't there, because things aren't getting better. But listen to me. He is there. I had one of the darkest weeks of my mission this week, and yet, HE WAS THERE. He was walking with me. And so were angels, seen and unseen. So, as President Holland says,
"Don’t give up. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it. Y ou keep your chin up. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."
So, do it. Trust God. I'm doing it right along with you right now.
I love you all.
Thanks for letting me be honest:)
-Sister Copeland
Pics of the Week:
1. WE HAVE A BRANCH OFFICE!
3. Sofia is a sweetie
3. God is among us.
4. How can you not believe in God when beauty like this exists?
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